You know, completely unrelated to this post, I love how the Title section now has a drop-down of all the titles you've used, this way I don't accidentally use the same title twice!  Yay!

Anywho, I think I may have gotten a job, but I wont say much about it right now because I don't want to jinx it, ha ha.

So, I have come to the conclusion that MySpace is stupid, and doesn't do anything but incite drama in my life, so I am un-associating myself with it, except for the occasional dropping by.  So don't expect a response from me there.  (Because you totally expect one from me here, right?)

Honestly, there's not much going on with me lately, so I don't really have much to write about.  There's only so many times you can post "I went out and got plastered all weekend" before it gets boring to even the most faithful of blog followers.  And of course, being jobless, during the week, it's pretty much 'I sat around on my computer today, playing my game and accomplishing nothing"

I shall update the thingee to the left there, I am well aware we aren't in the month of November anymore :p And my brother and Rebecca's birthday's were this month... and Tiffany's too.  (oops) *Sigh*  Sorry guys... no that you come to my blog anyway :-p 

Well, that's about it, other than, Mein Ameria... I MISS YOU!! 

*humps you enthusiastically* 

So, today I'm job hunting.  It's time I grew up, and took responsibility for my own life.  I know I haven't been around much, there's been a lot going on around my end lately, but, the drama will hopefully subside now.

Here's wishing me luck in 2008!

Today I give thanks first and foremost that I am NOT a Turkey (or a ham, for that matter). 

Secondly, I give thanks for my family and the love and support they have always shown me, even when I wasn't grateful for it.

Thirdly, I give thanks for you, my bloggerhood neighbors and friends, who have been there to give me advice and help me through some tough issues when I couldn't turn to anyone else.  Every single one of you are special to me, whether I'm here to show it or not.

That being said... it sure must suck to be a turkey.  Being stripped bare, tied up, things shoved up your ass and then thrown into a hot metal box... wait... that's either prison or BDSM.  *wink*

Happy Turkey Day, All!!  And God bless us, every one!

*sigh*  I'm so damn sick of the drama.  Lately my life seems to be one big soap opera after another.  It's distressing.  And depressing.  I miss my simpler life.  I've also decided I'm not going to stress over anything anymore.  Life has a way of working out, and the things you do always seem to find their way to the light eventually.  I'll just sit back and wait.  I can do that.  I'm very patient when I have to be. 

Apparently, my life is more like a soap opera than I knew...  people whom I don't even know are tuning in...  and filling in other people on what happened on the most recent episode.  And, to you loiterers... read on. 

*sigh*  peachy.

Okay, so the brake-line on the truck got fixed... the timing belt on my car is fixed (got muh wheels back, yay!) And last night he had to fix the brake line on his OTHER truck, LOL.  However... things may be looking up for me, I have an interview this morning at the Unemployment Commision to work in an office there, and I put in four other resumes yesterday.  No more night & weekend work for me!  YAY!  I'll post later to let everyone know how I thought the interview went :)

Okay, I went on the interview.  I'm not sure how it went.  I interview quite badly, so... it's always a toss up as to how they take me.  I'm not sure I was quite what they were looking for, so... I won't be surprised if I DON'T get it, I would be surprised if I DO, lol.  Thank you all for your words of support and well wishes :D

Last night, when we were taking my dad's trailer back to him, the light came on that there was something wrong with my boyfriend's brakes.

We get to the gas station (cause it is on E *again*) and he crawls up under it to see if he can see something wrong... and there's a crack in the brake line.  *sigh* 

It's the only vehicle I've got to drive right now, and I don't like the thought of driving it like that.  But I've really got no choice, until he can get my car fixed, which he can't do until Saturday.

Add to that he's got to get the brake-line fixed ASAP because the truck is on e-bay, and he's already got several very interested people who are making noises about coming up to look at it, and we've got ourselves another conundrum.

I've got to work today from 12-4:30, then meet Eddie at the lawyer's office, then come back here for him to try to work on the truck tonight.  Luckily I don't have to work tomorrow, but if he doesn't get it fixed in the next two days, I'm pretty much screwed since I've got to work on Friday, and if I call in, I'll probably lose my job.

*Pulls my hair out*  What a mess! I'll probably update some more on this today, I'm not sure.  Depends on if I have time.

Until then, take care, my loverlies, and I love y'all like double-chocolate fudge cake!! 

So my boyfriend looks at my car today, and he says it's NOT my fuel pump.  It's my timing belt.  Yay!  That is about $100 less to repair money-wise, but approximately the same amount of headache for him to fix, I think.  I've got forty bucks, but I didn't have a hundred and forty.  I'm so relieved. 

What a load off of my mind.

So I was looking at houses today... in Springfield.  *Winks @ mein Ameria*  I did find one I liked, my boyfriend liked it too, actually.  You wanna go check it out for us, Ameria?  lol. 

Now I've got to research the job market around that place.  For both of us.  *sigh*  I can see that this whole thing is going to be MY headache, lol.  Although I don't mind.  I'm actually excited to be looking. 

I've got this weird feeling in my stomach.  It's either the turkey and provolone bagel I just ate, or hope.  ;)

I love you all like...  chocolate chip cookies!!

I agree, this is a global economy, and most people do pay their bills electronically, which I would have no problem doing, but my BILLS are what is causing me to not have the resources to go anywhere. Add to that the fact that I don't have the first clue where I want to go, and that I have to have a job there, and a place to live BEFORE I get to this place I don't know and honestly, I just get so overwhelmed that I don't have the first clue what to do.

Not only that, but if I'm having so much trouble HERE, (somewhat) in the bosom of my family, how will I ever make it anywhere else, all alone? 

I know I seem like the world's worst whiner, but this is the only place I know where I can come and vent all my worries and fears and insecurities and there might be someone who understands.  No one seems to be able to really get where I'm coming from around here.

I also apologize to all of you who read my blog whose problems are so much worse than mine, I know I really don't have that much to complain about, especially when you take your much worse problems in stride with hardly a complaint.

I guess it all boils down to the fact that I'm just not happy with my situation, and don't know what to do to make it better.  I'm looking for a new job, one that I don't have to work nights and weekends, because that's depressing me some too, but I'm not having much luck there. 

I'd like to move somewhere more West of here, more country than city, to a little house that I can afford, working a Mon-Fri job that pays enough to meet my expenses with juat enough left over so that I can start saving a little (for emergencies, like the one's I've had recently) and have just a little spending money.  I'm not really asking for something elaborate, nothing grand.  Just a chance at a decent life, one I can be content with.

My boyfriend says he wants to move too, but whether he's serious, I don't know.  I know that I want to, and if he wants to come along for the ride, that's fine with me. 

The problem isn't knowing what I want, it's knowing how to get it.

Any suggestions? ;)

So, I'm not as depressed as I have been the last two or three days, but I'm not overjoyed about my life either.  I just get so upset because I always saw myself as something... more.  But lately, I can't see how my life can be anything other than it is right now.  Painful. 

I'm fully aware that the pain I'm feeling is a direct result of my own actions, and that there's no one to blame but myself for how hard my life is right now, but I just wish that I could get at least some sort of a break.  :(  Or some sort of epiphany about how to make everything at least a little better.  It's like everything that's good in my life seems to get infected somehow, then just sort of rots from the inside out, unnoticed until it's too late to fix. 

I feel the need to run away.  I want to just move away and start over.  But I can't do that until I take care of (get rid of) everything holding me here, like my bills and stuff, which I can't get rid of if I don't have a better job, AND if all this other CRAP doesn't stop happening to me!! 

I just want to start over.

Okay, so as bad as I was feeling the other day when I posted, I feel worse now.  Besides the things I'm not talking about here, the day before yesterday I had to take an hour off of work to go get a new tire put on my car, because the one on it was about to blow.  Okay, no problem, money's tight, but I can squeeze it in and still eat for the next two weeks until I get paid again, right?  Well, yesterday after I got off work, I'm going down the road and my car just fucking DIES!  It dies right while I'm driving down the road!  My own educated guess is that my fuel pump went out.  $140 to replace.  Like I've got that kind of money.  It will completely wipe me out to have to pay for that. 

Luckily for me, my boyfriend is letting me drive one of his trucks to work & back, but I've got to put gas in it, which I can't really afford, since I filled up my own car not six hours before it crapped out on me. 

What the fuck, seriously?  I feel like my life is some sort of cosmic joke.  That I was randomly picked out of the whole human population by god or the devil or someone and they said, "hey, lets see how much we can actually do to this pathetic being before she can't take any more.  Who wants to place bets on the day she finally breaks, eh?  Any takers?"

On top of all that, I own one pair of shoes (non-heel) and they're falling apart, but because of everything else going on in my life, I can't even afford to get another pair to wear. 

I feel myself spiraling down into a state of depression, and every time I think I can claw my way free, here comes that giant cosmic boot again to kick me in the head and knock me back down into the hole.

I hate my life.

Thank everyone for their kind words to my last post, it really meant a lot to me.  I choked up a little.  Honestly.  And Leggs, I remember ya :)